10 sore knee blessings.

1. We have had to slow down.
2. We have realised again that we will die one day.
3. I have realised again that dancing was only a ~way~ to there. Not the place itself.
4. Trouble has realised that work is not everything, and has had to be firm about hours.
5. Hinchinbrook people who are good at pain are back, being good at pain. While this is not good for our marriage, at least on the surface of it, it was wrong that they were so far away.
6. We've learnt a lot about how our friends respond to vulnerability and weakness.


That's all I can come up with.
I'll be back with number seven when it makes its presence felt.

Atmospheric effects.

So. Things are not so good with the knee. We have given teaching a whirl and we're not ready yet. Might not be ready until after the knee operation we are ever more certain we'll be needing as we have made no progress at all in the last four weeks. I promise this next four weeks until assessment day to DO MY PHYSIOTHERAPY. Every day. Seven times a day each exercise. I have to give it one last chance to heal on its own.

This is Calypso, feeling so blue.

In happy news, we've learnt how to combine Lulu (what a shop!) shopping and credit cards.

In other happy news, we're loving our Art Class. Last Wednesday was Atmospheric Effects. I drew a cow, in the mist, with some distant mountains and broody looking afternoon light.
It was great.
There are a couple of annoying students. They indulge in a lot of negative self-talk and annoying criticism. It is extremely tedious.
It doesn't matter though. I just ignore them and create redemptive chaos anyway and say "god that was fantastic" as if I've just had an amazing shag at the end of every class.

Art = Better Than Sex.

Vanishing point.

Art class was amazing. Hard. Really interesting. Lots of maths. No colour. I drew a toilet block from three different angles. All ugly. And a set of swings. I learnt a lot.

My knee hurts. A lot.

A shaky start.

I didn't tell too many of the dancers about it, just started again, this evening. Zil was my only student. I was glad. I can't take the pressure right now. I only managed an hour, but that was okay. I think I'll go better next week. I didn't wear the brace.

It was really confronting to be unable to dance freely, back in my teaching space, on that wood floor where I've spun and shimmied and been so free. To be so frightened and to have to be so careful. It was really hard. I am so sad about my knee.

I got through it. It was okay. I'm not in that much pain. A bit. I'm really tired though and I'm pretty sad. I wish I could dance again, the way I could before I hurt my knee. I wish I could do my exercises. I wish my knee was okay. But it's not. And it might not ever be okay. And that's really scaring me.