One month on.

Today was the first day I've danced since June 22nd. There was a "Day of Dance" at the Bugsplat Sport's Club. It was very challenging. There was too much attention on me and my brace. I made jokes to deflect sympathy. I wish it were like it is in our culture where it is rude to discuss difference or illness unless the afflicted raise the topic. I know, because the Herrings explain it to me, that it comes from a very particular anglo saxon colonial history and that I'm reacting to that rather than to the genuine concern of my fellow dancers but I do hate the attention so much. I made jokes about my brace, and called it a corset. People who are really shy, like me, have to pretend not to be. That's safer. I know that I use my charm to control social situations because I am frightened of any social situations that I don't control. I know all that. I don't give myself a hard time about it because I'm also very loving and gentle and respectful of others. So, usually, unless I'm with someone who leans of the exact same strategy as I do, I'm an energy-giver in a group and people love being near me.
It was Nadia's birthday present to me, this day of dance.
I really liked the teacher. My most devoted student Zil was there and I realised immediately that unlike other situations I've been in - like the dance day at Littlesplat recently, I would not have to protect my students at all, and it was just fine.
I haven't written a post like this for a long time. Shell is helping me type. Reading this over I feel dissatisfied. I don't feel as if I've expressed myself well. I read it over and it didn't feel like me. Perhaps this will take some time to happen. I do like my template. It's the same as the one at one of our other journals, "Wants a cracker". I like the yellow fruit picture too. I have a feeling these colours and that picture might encourage Hinchinbrook people to post here too, and I'm okay with that.